It’s a funny feature of the human condition. We fantasize, about work, money, sex, babies, our families, pets, lovers, random strangers, friends, the future, the past, the present, about having different lives even. When someone asks you to list your goals for the next five years, you do some version of fantasizing to get that list. Sexual Fantasies With Your Partner.
Where would you like to go this weekend? There you fantasized.
So here’s a bunch of things you’ll need to know.
1. The Motivational Intro
Most life coaches and gurus will tell you to visualize what you want, and then go for it. That’s what fantasizing is about- visualizing. The going for it bit is upto to you, and obviously the acts the fantasy dictate. A large amount of fantasizing is dedicated to wants. When you’re in a relationship, that makes it all the more amusing.
Consider this a heads up, before you embarrass yourself. Your fantasies are different from your daydreams. Daydreams are closer to dreams, and may involve other people and/or film stars, porn stars, presidents, cute acquaintances and sometimes aliens and gods, mutants, superheroes and royalty. Fantasies are more realistic, and involve stuff you could actually be doing. Sometimes it’s a daydream may actually be a fantasy, like for example, a struggling YouTuberYouTuber daydreaming about becoming a pop singer, is actually fantasizing. The relationship between dreams, daydreams and fantasies is weird, and all three may be interchangeable sometimes.
3. What If You Don’t Know Where To Start?
Righto’, now that we got that last one out of the way, your fantasies involve actual stuff you suddenly finding yourself wishing your S.O. would do with you/to you. For example, you daydream about weird stuff with Ruby Rose, and then you wake up, and it’s on your mind, and then you have this flash visualization of doing that same thing with your bae, and you’re like, “I wish we could do that.” That’s as good a starting point as any. That’s also a way to direct your libido in the right direction, in case you find your mind wandering. The thing you’ll want to remember is if that you can’t picture doing that with your partner, then it’s probably coz your mind thinks it’s a lot more dirty and revolting. More power to ya!
4. Telling Him/Her
Being a couple has some perks. You don’t have to go looking for someone to do stuff with, or succumb to cuffing season. You’ve already done all the necessary, and hopefully more. So now all you have to do is tell your ‘lover’ what’s on your mind. Since you know, trust and care about each other, you’ll want to satisfy each other and you’ll be careful while you’re at it. It should be relatively easy. You start by watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith, or some other ‘enlightening’ movie. And then say something as the opportunity comes up. Or you could take the road not taken, and just go, “Hey, I had this thought and….”
5. What Not To Tell Him/Her?
Okay, telling you to do it is one thing, but you telling your partner sometimes isn’t. If you’ve been raised like an Indian, it’s quite a harrowing experience. For one, you’ll have all these weird fetishes because..well it is what it is, and while a trip to the therapist (or fifty) may be in order, for now you’ll have to run a filter yourself, and pick something you want to run with. If you have a blind trust thing with your special someone, then go ahead and tell them everything you want to, but otherwise the plan is to get kinky, not single again.
Pre-prep is a cautionary but solid idea. There are many online sex check-lists, questionnaires and tests that will help you get to know what your partner will be willing to try and what he or she will not be willing to try. This reddit post will help. It’s way better than just springing your Jack Sparrow Elizabeth Swan role play plan on the unsuspecting victim.