Nothing is quite like the feeling of dealing with the end of your first love. There is no tragedy that is quite like another, of course; but, the singular pain that comes from losing your first love, through whatever dire hand of questionable fate that caused this regrettable outcome, is simply terrible. It is the single most human thing to do, to dream big when you first chance upon love. But it is also one of the largest traps we ever lay for ourselves. The number of people who can claim to be with the first people they respectively loved are akin to a drop of everclear water in a turbulent sea of churning humanity; not all of us are that lucky. You might have dreamt up worlds together, imagined whole futures together; but sometimes sadly, it can all be for naught. And once it’s over, you will definitely feel like there is no point to anything, and whether you will ever be happy again in what you feel will certainly be a miserable life. But we’re here to tell you not to despair. This is not the end. It is only a beginning.
1. Realise That You Want To Get Over Your Ex
Given how your ex was a large part of your life, it will obviously be hard to let go of them. To even start the process is difficult because of the sheer pain. Some people will even fervently hope that this is not the end, and that there’s always another chance. And this is natural, but also harmful, as it prevents you from healing. You have to understand that this person wasn’t meant to be with you, and that you don’t want to be with them. Only then can you move on.
2. Don’t Even Think About Getting Back In Touch
The natural inclination to open a line of communication to your ex will be strong, but you must resist. This is like taking off a wax patch, the only way is to do it as quickly as possible, because that’s the most painful, and ironically, the least painful method to go about it.
3. When It Gets Tough, Remind Yourself Why You Broke Up
There is always a lot of happiness in any relationship to look back upon, but what is more important here is that more than happiness, there was something that just could not be reconciled with. There are reasons after all, for why you are in this situation in the first place. There can be no mention of specifics in an area of human interaction with so many different subtleties of flavour, everyone will have their own laments; and they are a plenty.
4. Understand That This Is Not The End
Almost everyone alive in history has gone through what you are going though right now; trust us on this, you are not alone. Ask anyone you will know, and if they are honest, they will tell you that: yes, it sucks unmentionable parts of the anatomy, but it gets better; a few will close that with a muttered ‘Eventually…’ But they will attest to the fact that there is always happiness yet to be found.
5. Maintain Yourself
In this situation, you are often faced with a lot of self loathing, and while some of it may even be necessary, all of it certainly is not. People often tend to let themselves go because they do not see any point in looking after themselves, especially when the future looks so bleak. But cast of this despair, you need your body to be able to write the unwritten pages of your future. Exercise is also known to be an excellent cure for depression.
6. Remember That You Are Not Alone
No person is an island, we are all connected to other people. And in times of dire emotional turmoil such as this, there is no possible way for you to make it out of such a horribly depressing place in your life without the help of those you hold near and dear to your heart. Be it family or friends, immerse yourself in the support and empathy of people who will be there for you, who will help you rise from the ashes of an old self and turn into something beautiful.
7. Be Honest With How You Feel For Yourself
At no pint should you feel compelled to feel or act okay when you are not actually feeling that way. Everyone moves through this phase at their own pace, and different people react differently to emotional stress and everyone deals with trauma in their own way, and at their own pace. It is up to you to set the pace of your recovery, but don’t beat yourself up over how slow it may be coming along. When you are feeling down, the simple act of talking with someone else, the expression of sharing in the pain, will do more to help you than anything else on the planet. And know that it is always okay, and perfectly human, to want to cry. If you need to, then cry your heart out. We attest to the power of this simple act.
8. Do Not Get Into A Rebound Relationship
While this may work for a minuscule portion of the population, chances are you might not belong to this group, so keep in mind that for recovery, you need to be yourself. Getting a rebound relationship might not help in this matter, in any possible way. Transferring the locus of your feeling from one person to another is not the way to go about doing it. Now, a fling; well, that might be another thing all together.
9. Don’t Wallow
Get rid of all the sad songs on your playlist, throw out the ice cream and replace it with fruits, get a copy of the Before Sunset Trilogy. Get a puppy, learn a new language, pick up that instrument you always wanted to learn. Basically, surround yourself with positivity and growth. Your pain will pass, and you will actually feel like a person again. Trust us on this. Buck up me hearties, yo ho!