Well, we’re looking to remedy that a bit, and we’re looking to help you achieve your next (or first) Big O, so read on to find out just how to make that happen.
Without getting into the messy business of citations too much, you should know that there is a significant number of women who have reported achieving orgasm much easier when they have used lube during sex. Factor in all of the additional benefits of using lube – much less pain, for one – the relative ease of availability and low hassle of usage, and you’ve suddenly got something that is definitely worth trying at least as few times to know if it works for you.
2. Focus On The Clit
Very few women ever achieve orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, so if you’re one of them (or you’re in a relationship with one such woman) count yourself lucky. Female orgasm is much more likely to be a result of stimulating the clitoris than penetration only, where the likelihood of the woman achieving orgasm approaches zero.
3. The G-Spot
If female orgasms are the treasure, then the G-spot is the map that leads you to said treasure. We’re not going to go into much detail about the G-spot here, safe to say there is a lot of literature out there on the subject, but here’s what you need to know: Doggy-style (rear entry) is the best position – but you have to get the best angles. Toys with a slight curve will also do the trick for those flying solo.
4. Woman On Top
A favorite position of women, especially those looking to orgasm fast and hard is the woman on top position. Why? It’s simple, she can control the depth, movement, pace, angles and most of all, the position provides clitoral stimulation all on it’s own. Just make sure the man can last as long as needed given the rather exciting view.
5. Keep A Pillow Handy
Contemporary pornography (the western kind anyway) will have us believing that missionary is stale and vanilla, but on the contrary, it is one of the best positions for those looking to have enjoyable sex, and not merely look good on camera. Here’s the deal, the regular angle of entry might not be the best suited for clitoral stimulation so try using a pillow below the woman’s waist or derrière for better results.
6. “Don’t Stop!”
Unfortunately, men don’t seem to understand that “don’t stop” or “keep going” aren’t indicators to thrust faster, change their positions slightly or to immediately ejaculate (even though that last one cannot be helped sometimes). Sometimes all you need is to simply keep doing what you’re doing.
7. Communication is Key
And while we’re on the subject, let’s just get to the larger point: Talk in the bedroom about what turns you on and gets you off. If you’re not the talky type, a sufficient amount of moaning and writhing will give him the right idea, so get verbal.
8. Learn Your Own Body
What we’re trying to say is: masturbate. Really. If you can’t get yourself off, you can’t really expect any other guy to as well. Okay, you can, but it’s an unfair assumption, given that you’re both probing in the dark, pun not intended. Figure out what, how and how much of anything gets you off, or at least gets you close.
Kegels are like exercises for your holiest of holies, in that they keep you in top shape down there. Why are they important? Well, because they facilitate stronger and more frequent orgasms in those who already have them, and orgasms in those who don’t. Without getting into all of the literature, kegels are the muscles you use when you stop yourself peeing mid-stream (seriously) and working them out means clenching and unclenching them at any time of your day (when you’re not peeing). Just remember to breathe as you’re doing so.
Foreplay is like the secret sauce to any good sexual encounter, and it’s the same story when it comes to orgasms as well. Foreplay makes two things happen, it turns the woman on, and thus it increases lubrication. Here are the facts: if you do not engage in foreplay, or don’t get enough of it, you’re probably not going to orgasm.
11. Seek Some Thrills
Dopamine is that fantastic neurotransmitter (chemical released by neurons) that causes wonderful things like erections in men. It also plays a key role in the female orgasm, so get your dopamine levels up by going rock climbing, watching a scary thriller or generally doing exciting and semi-dangerous stuff. Then get on with the lovemaking.