We use them a lot, don’t we? Just a few examples here – think of the time when your mom made your favourite desert, or when a friend helped with an assignment (life-saving types), or the innumerable times you said it to your favourite movie star (in your imaginary world). I’ve personally said it to my phone screen a bunch of times while reading Shah Rukh’s tweets, and yet it’s a big deal to say those three words sometimes. But all of those times are different; and when it comes to relationships, how soon is too soon to say i love you, really?
The Dilemma
When in a relationship, everything feels like a big step. Well, initially at least. The first of everything is a big deal. So I guess it’s okay to wonder ‘how soon is too soon’; ‘how soon is too soon to say i love you?’, ‘how soon is too soon for the first..’. But there is no real way to gauge any of it. No really. It’s not exact science. There is no way in hell an outsider will know either. Friends, books etc. will only be of help so much. Matters of heart have a long history of defying logic, practicality and everything that help run the world. I married a man who didn’t even propose. I should know!
Just Say It
Truth is, I’ve always felt if you feel the emotion, then just say it. Of course, you don’t want to scare the other person. But if you feel it, then you should probably stop going ‘how soon is too soon to say i love you?’ in your head. Jut say it, and then let the other person decide where they stand and make time for conversation about how you guys should take it forward. Did I burst bubbles? Sorry. I honestly feel that putting a timeline or trying to put a timeline is impractical.
You like him, he makes you laugh. You’ve been together for a while. How long..doesn’t matter; maybe it does, but then again, it’s not like you’re gonna pop those kind of words on a whim. He doesn’t dis your family. He even likes some of the stuff you like. He makes an effort to get along with your annoying best friend. Hey, don’t pounce! Most best friends get on the nerves of boyfriends. Maybe its all about territorial issues. That in fact should be a whole different column – ‘How do you tolerate your best friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend’. Seriously though, if you see that he likes you, for reals, and he makes an effort, and you really do love him, why wait till you cross some imaginary timeline?
Take A Chance
People have different ways of showing love. We are all not vocal and expressive, though being so would make life so much more simpler. You love him and you don’t want to embarrass yourself or put yourself in a vulnerable position by telling him so. That’s relatable, but what if he loves you too and is feeling the same emotions as well? It’s a personal opinion and you might think of it as silly but it’s better to make a fool of yourself and embarrass yourself than not convey at all. You don’t want to look back and wonder ‘what if?’
So like I said earlier, how soon is too soon to say i love you is a kind of relative ‘thing’. If you feel the emotion, then just say it. Let it land on him and let him deal with it, process it and respond to it. You can deal with the response, whatever that maybe. You could read a bunch of books, ask a few experts or even take this article as a reference; the only person who can truly know when the right time is or if it’s too soon is YOU. Trust your own instincts, when they fail you, trust your emotions. In absence of emotions, the question is redundant. But you already know that, don’t you?
I had to project a woman’s perspective here. It’s just easier for me. The same could be applicable to men also. Oh wait! Who are we kidding…