If it always leaves you wanting more, then it is not a healthy sign. What do you do if the relationship is abusive, mentally depressing, unstable, negatively addictive or just not transparent enough that you can trust it with your life? Sometimes you need to know how to come out of love, if the love you have is not something you want to be locked into. It’s generally a give with most forms of abuse that the victims don’t even think it’s something they need to come out of, and some stay in a bad relationship long enough to develop a kind of ‘stockholm syndrome’ response. Some people just say, saying they’re supposed to, and some people stay coz it’s all they know to do.
But you don’t have to do that. Get out when you feel uneasy, before you actually hurt the both of you too much, and turn things into something so bad, you both can’t even be considered a good people. Love will happen again, it always does. It’s what makes us human.
The Difficulty Of The Situation
Okay, sure, some relationships are solid, it’s the real deal, and just have lulls and ebbs in between, since we’re in a busy world. In those cases you just need to know how to save your relationship, or a few good love tips. But if you are not fully content with the relationship that you share with your partner and it has become more of a burden and a cause of worry, a case of contempt, or passive condescension, a case of who can win, rather than something that you can look forward to in life, then it is best to walk out of such a mess and make way for happiness for yourself and your partner too. But the one big dilemma is how to come out of love? How can you just let go of all the memories and move on? How do you break the news to the person? Where would you find the strength? Or worse the ability to resist both your egos?! What approach is best to follow? Well, we’ve got a solution below..
How To Come Out Of Love That Hurts, A Clear Road Out:
To ease things a bit, we have a few tips and suggestions that you might find helpful.
1. Make A List Of Why It Didn’t Work Out
To figure out why you want to move out in the first place, make a list of things and issues which are the root cause of the problem, the reason you’re at the question of how to come out of love. In some cases, people don’t know the’re dealing with what is love addiction on the part of their lovers. You may need to look into that. Once you recall and list down all the things that you cannot compromise on, it becomes easier to deal with the pain and to move on to a better life, happiness and content that is waiting for you out there.
2. Know The Difference Between Love And Habit
Sometimes we decide to stay in the relationship not out of love for the person but for the attachment and the security, a sense of certainty as we are too scared to face the disaster, the reality of the situation; in that case some of us are infected by love addiction, so here’s how to overcome love addiction. And often that stops us from asking the hard questions, like how to come out of love, a love that’s not love at all sometimes. It stops us from doing the right thing, to walk away with our dignity intact and our heart not broken in a million pieces. Instead of fooling yourself that you are in love with that person, realize the difference and move out of a poisonous relationship.
3. Cut Off Any Contact
One of the most important things that you need to do you need and absolute solution on how to come out of love with someone is to severe all contacts and links after the breakup. It should not be like you changing your address or moving to a different place altogether but if you get that opportunity to switching jobs for a better prospect and career, do not hold back. Apart from that, just let go of the past and try not to be friends with that person. Maybe at a later stage when you both are in a good space, you might consider being friends and exchanging pleasantries. But not when it is too fresh. That would be a sure NO!
4. Accept The Grief
It is quite obvious that you will be grieved, hurt and immensely sad about the whole thing. Do not shy away from accepting how you feel but acknowledge your emotions honestly. Don’t push them away. No one is judging you here if you cry your heart out. I would say cry your heart out and be done with it once and for all. You will feel much less burdened and light, making it easier for you to move ahead with determination. If you don’t follow this step on how to come out of love, then you run the risk of going back to the person out of habit.
5. Socialize With Friends
When in a relationship, we often end up neglecting our social circle, sometimes even our best of friends. You do not do it intentionally but it always happens that your partner becomes the centre of your world. You get the punch down the belly when you are left alone and isolated, of your own volition, or on the receiving end. Under such a situation, how to come out of love? Instead of sulking, make amends with your past, start socializing with your friends and catch up from where you had left off. You will find them not so judgmental and much more welcoming. It’s your friends we are talking about, after all.
6. Embrace The Truth
How to come out of love permanently? Be honest with yourself and accept the reality. You took this decision for a reason and a solid one. Now stick to it and show some strength of character. A moment of weakness can flush all your efforts down the drain. Come to terms with the reality of the situation. The faster you get hold of the present, the better you will feel about yourself.
7. Detach Yourself From The Memories
It is of no use remembering each and every sweet and bitter memory of the moments that you shared once with your ex-partner in a loop. Break the loop and come out of day dreaming. Do not torture yourself with the memories of the past but make new ones as you move on in life.
8. Be Positive And Motivated
It is essential to maintain the positive vibe around yourself. A nasty break-up or an unrequited love can take a toll on your emotions and your life. If your don’t learn how to come out of love, other important aspects such as a stable life, career and future goals may go haywire, leaving you with doubts and uncertainties, making you prone to depression. Instead of hurt and pain feeding on your mind and soul, channel the emotions in a positive manner and set a goal in life, and keep yourself constantly motivated by doing a small bit every day constantly to reach that goal.
9. Don’t Get Carried Away Emotionally
Emotional turmoil and heartbreak can affect our mind in ways more than you can imagine. It can heavily affect our daily life and routine. Instead of falling prey to an emotional situation when you lose control of things and situations around you, or worse, letting your mind run away with its whims, get hold of the reigns of your mind and your life and direct it towards a certain and stable direction. If you can’t muster the minimal discipline it takes to do that, then asking how to come out of love is senseless.
10. Distract Yourself
Okay, love is a kind of senselessness so you need more than just that statement. So here’s another tip on how to come out of love. Instead of concentrating on the negativity and the painful memories of the past, distract your mind with activities that will stimulate your senses. Keep yourself busy so that there is not much time and energy left to ponder over useless things. Use your energy in doing something productive and constructive instead of remembering a love and a life that is buried now in the past.
11. Time To Crush
Sometimes it is much more satisfying to just have an innocent crush on someone knowing that it is going to remain that way only. It keeps you on your toes, has an immensely positive effect on your mood and can lift up your sunken spirits, restoring your hope and faith in love again.
12. Don’t Make It Too Hard On You
How to come out of love? Don’t play Devdas.
Please try not to make a difficult situation even more difficult by depending on alcohol or drugs. They are absolutely worthless and do not work out in any way as they cannot help you nurse a broken heart. Developing an addiction during your weak moments can only take you downhill. So let time heal things and make it easy for you to let go of the past life, the bad memories and the poisonous ties so that you could start afresh.
13. Learn To Enjoy Your Company
It must have been hard to adjust with life in the absence of the person you loved so much. But you have to learn to love yourself too if you really wanna know how to come out of love. Enjoy being with yourself and learn to live without your partner. It will be almost impossible in the beginning to imagine a life without them but if you keep strength and get a grip on the situation, you will sail through this storm just fine. You just have to give yourself the time to heal and understand your priorities.
14. Keep An Open Heart
Do not let a bitter experience taint your whole idea of love. You do not have to desperately try to be in a new relationship but do keep your options open. Sometimes we do make a few mistakes in figuring out the kind of partner we want in our life and that leaves us despaired for long. But do not shy away from love if it knocks right at your door.
15. Find A Direction In Life
Instead of wasting away your time crying and being sad, another quick solution on how to come out of love is to find a purpose and a direction in life, specially if you didn’t have a career or a plan. Jot down your career goals and work towards them to fulfil them with much more enthusiasm. Do not let go of the focus and your aspirations just because it did not work out with someone. Rather than sulking about it, just set your life straight and everything that seems topsy-turvy now will be right on track very soon. We hope the suggestions gave you the much needed encouragement and motivation to set your life on the right track. If you wish to add something to this, maybe from your personal experiences with life, feel free to do so.