One of the greatest transformative powers known to man is the force of love. Love is everything in this world, those that know their Corinthians will know that without love, there is no point to anything. Such is the intrinsic appeal of love that all of us seek it in some way or the other, and we are completely willing to spend our whole lives in the quest for love. And such is the power of love that even if you do not find it, a life spent in seeking love is not one that anyone would call a wasted one.
A lot of us happen to chance upon love, and it feels like seeing the sun for the first time. We are almost certainly not capable of remembering the sheer effect that must have had on our tiny, infantile brains, but we can imagine the broadening of the horizons that came with it. Similarly, love is something that gives you new purpose and direction in life, never before were you more willing to live. Therefore, when this warm, happy and fuzzy feeling called love is unceremoniously ripped away from us, leaving us bereft of its singular warmth and comfort, most people become akin to ships without rudders or sails. We seem to languish in a sea without the slightest bit of wind and further we don’t care to see if there is even the slightest breeze.
The breaking up of a relationship with a loved one is one of the hardest things that any living soul can go through. But that’s the thing, going through this phase in life doesn’t necessarily have to break you, it can make you into a far stronger person than ever before. We know that it’s a little hard to believe, but bear with us; we’re there for you. We can tell you how to forget love, and move on. You can become a much stronger, and more mature person after a break up with a loved one. And when you learn how to forget love, then you will be all the better for it. To help you get through this horrible phase in life, we’ve compiled a list of suggestions that you should take to heart, if you want to learn how to forget love, and to move on.
1. Do Not Stay In Contact With Your Ex
le there are numerous ways to forget someone that you loved, there is none more effective than not getting in touch with them at all, in any fashion whatsoever. Out of sight, out of mind. In fact staying friends with someone you once loved, but now have to be apart from, is a horrible idea. It is one the most elaborate forms of torture that humanity has ever conceived for itself. The question of their availability, emotional and otherwise, is something that we would all like to leave to speculation, but sadly it’s a trap. There is no fall back option here. That would be regression. Hope should look forward in life, not backwards. Save your emotional energy for the future, it’s going to be worth it.
2. Don’t Make The Mistake Of Hating Them
What is peddled by popular culture today, this idea that you have to hate the one you were with to move on, is erroneous. There is not need to hate the one you want to get out of your life. This is just another form of emotional centrism that puts the person at the base of your focus in life. The point of this whole exercise is to forget them, not give them unnecessary importance in your life. The route to healing is to shift your focus of attention to something else in your life. You must realise that everything has it’s own time and place, and in the time and place you were, you might have been happy. No relationship is without its positives, and you don’t have to convince yourself that you only had negativity in your life. You just have to realise that you must look forward.
3. Put Yourself First
The healthiest way of getting over any break up is to try and move the focus of your existence from an outer point or person and back to yourself. You have to love yourself, otherwise there’s no point.The time after a break up is perfect for taking a fresh look at life, and your only duty now is to figure out what you want from it. See if there are things that you would want to do differently from now on. Take some time out for just yourself, and be with yourself. Take that trip you’ve always been setting aside. Learn a new language or get a fun hobby. Explore yourself.
4. Rise Above Thoughts Of Revenge
There might be arguments from a lot of people that the only way to regain any lost dignity is through avenging yourself on the person who caused you harm in the first place. And while this may have worked out fine for The Count of Monte Cristo, it cannot be said that he walked away from his revenge without any harm itself. Revenge, and all the emotions that are associated with it, is a heavy idea. It will settle itself comfortably at the centre of your thought processes and control every aspect of your life. Anything that you might do in the name of revenge has the potential to be something that would horrify you if you were in a better state of mind. You will regret all of it in fact, primarily because you would be letting the thought of your ex, who you want out of your life, to still control your life.
5. Be Open To The World And Yourself
All the negative emotions that rise to surface of our frothing mindscape after a break up are completely natural. Rage, despair, sadness, helplessness etc. They are things that you should encounter, and not avoid. There is no point in trying to run away from emotional baggage. The only way to successfully deal with negativity is to face it and deal with it. Cry, rant, lament all you want. It’s part of the healing process. If anyone tells you that you shouldn’t cry, because it will make you seem weak, they are clearly going to prove themselves as idiots down the line. Open up to the people in your life, friends and family, they will see you through this dark phase in your life. In regards to being open with yourself, starting a journal or a diary of your innermost thoughts, where you can speak to yourself in a sense, will be immensely helpful thing to do.
6. Trust, But Don’t Be Naive
The aftermath of a breakup is always harsh, and life in its heartless ruthlessness is not going to make things implicitly easier. Just because you’ve gone through this cancer for the soul, doesn’t mean that you are going to get any pity from the dice that controls the flow of life. You will not instantly be surrounded by people who mean the best for you, or have your best interests at heart. And in this shell-shocked state, you will be ready to latch on to the first person who will seem like they have a sympathetic ear. But before you start pouring yourself out, take another look at these people and judge again whether they are sincere or if they have some ulterior motives.
7. Do Not Get Into A Rebound
The automatic tendency of a hurt human being is to try and immediately fill in the emotional and physical void left by an ex with another person. This is perfectly natural, but also at the same time one of the greatest self-destructive behavioural patterns that he have ever conceived. Emotional instability is not the best platform from which to seek out new relationships and interactions. This is often a recipe for disaster of the direst proportions. Any progress that you might have made towards healing yourself will be flushed right down a very dirty men’s toilet, and you would only be setting up roadblocks for your own future emotional advancement. You can never replace somebody with someone else, you don’t deserve that, and more importantly other people don’t deserve that. It’s a horrible thing to do to another person, and you know it. The only stability and fulfilment that you can truly find, will be found within yourself. Give yourself time to heal, and move on.