Heck, sometimes even the opposite is true. You say “I love you” so many times that it loses almost all of it’s appeal – and whatever little remains is lost the second your actions reveal themselves to be the opposite of what you (constantly) keep saying.
But most commonly, sometimes, the occasion doesn’t even come up. You’re not going to be able to say that at the office, or in some corridor, or when you’re among 5 common friends, or even not so common ones. It could be a mix of any of these cases, plus anything else.
In either of the above cases, the words “I love you” aren’t going to solve your problem (at this precise moment), so you’ve got to show them in some other way.
Words Might Charm But Actions Unarm
Actions are those things that qualify your statements, they are like all of the complex math behind the simplest equations in physics, the hours in the gym behind Michael Phelps’ phenomenal progress and 8 years of complicated examinations behind the surgeon’s snazzy white coat.
What Does That Mean?
It means that for those that do not have any woes with those three words, saying “I love you” isn’t enough. They must be backed up with actions.
If you’re already in a relationship, and the words “I love you” are inaccessible at this point, make sure to pull up your socks and treat your partner really nice. Plan dates, make sure to spend time together, help them out around the house and have an ear ready for them when they’d like. It’s always the small stuff that keeps the spark (a small thing, no?) alive – the surprise breakfast in bed, fresh flowers in the living room vase, a bottle of their favourite perfume bought at that fun night at the fair… you get the hint.
Kinds Of Actions – For Those Not In A Relationship With Their Beloved
It all depends on what stage of the relationship you are in. If you’re convinced you love someone and they are your soulmate, do not think it’s okay to tell (or in your case, show) them that you love them within the first three times you meet them. Unless you lead a particularly action-packed and vivacious life, stunts like that are best left to the movies.
If you’re in that stage, notes, chits, flowers, hanging out together, physical contact etc will pass on the message of your (to them) infatuation much better, and will not scare them off.
If, however, you have been seeing more and more of each other for a while now, and the chance to really say how you feel hasn’t presented itself (especially if it’s something that may take them for surprise), then you’re going to have to set yourself up with some grand actions. “I love you” isn’t a joke, and shouldn’t be treated as one.
They say all is fair in love and war.
A curious reality about the above proverb is that it was first recorded as “All is fair in love – an’ war – an’ politics” and was then understood to mean that no time should be lost as well as the more common ‘the end justifies the means.’
And in that context, setting up a date – maybe passing it off as an official meeting – somewhere breathtakingly beautiful, accompanied with a picnic basket and/or flowers and watching the sunset together will pretty much put the initial idea in their heads, and you can build on that later.
In your time spent in their company, you must have come across their interests and hangouts, so planning around that is a pretty good plan if the sunset one sounds too cliched. Two tickets to see their favourite band as well as a collectible/memorabilia that you know they will adore makes for a most memorable night.
In short, don’t be stupid or morally corrupt, but you’re allowed to look the other way over minor things – it is love we’re talking about after all – and there’s very little time to lose, so get cracking.