Love is a word that can have a different meaning for two people in the same relationship.
All of us understand, perceive and show love in our own individual ways.
Maybe that's why it's pointless to even try and understand someone else's love story, forget judging it! While love and flirting go hand in hand, what if the flirting is getting out of hand? Let's say you're out on a date with your 'special someone' when you bump into some of their friends - Your partner is now openly flirting with these 'friends' while you're left wondering, just who is on a date with whom? Okay let's start at the top. Firstly, flirting in itself is harmless and in fact, it can be healthy for a relationship. As a couple you need to set boundaries and limits.
There are some people who have a natural tendency to flirt, and effortlessly at that, but this tendency can sometimes come in the way of their relationship.
There is a huge difference between appreciating someone and flirting with someone - get that straight! If you are in love with a hopeless flirt, how do you deal with it? Is that a reason enough for you to break up and move on? Or do you silently accept it even though it hurts you? Both these are extreme scenarios and are best avoided.
Talk It Over
Believe it or not communication is the basis of every relationship in this world. if your partner’s flirting bothers you or is in any way coming in between the two of you, you need to talk about it. Your partner may not even realize that you are being hurt – so tell them!
Stay Calm and Composed
There’s a big difference between yelling, shouting and calling someone a wretched flirt on the top of your voice, and gently talking about it. The former will not get your relationship anywhere, the latter may strengthen your relationship. So be calm and composed, there’s no point in being otherwise.
Appreciation Vs Flirting
There’s a fine line being appreciative and graciously complimenting people and being a flirt. You and your partner both need to analyze and understand this. There are three possible scenarios:
Your partner is appreciative in nature, and you’re tagging it as flirting. Check and analyze your own reactions. Make sure you are not jumping to conclusions, and if you are, make corrections.
Your partner may be a natural flirt and may have no real intentions of hurting you. They may not realize the fine line between appreciation and flirting, in this case you need to follow the first step of talking things over and making
your partner understand your point of view – in a calm manner.
Sometimes partners deliberately display a flirtatious attitude just to make their significant other jealous (not a great long-term strategy). If this is the confirmed case, you need to point out, in a mature fashion, that such behavior needs to stop.
Post Communicating Your Thoughts
If the flirting is taking a toll on your relationship and communication isn’t solving the issue, you need to think about your relationship. After you’ve let your partner know how you feel about their flirting, if suitable change, or attempts to change don’t follow, you need to check whether the relationship is really strong enough?
Being in love does not mean you ignore things that bother you, you have to make attempts to solve them, and if the issue persists, you will need take firmer actions.
A Day In Your Shoes!
Sometimes you need to use actions and not words to get your point across. But be warned, this is a last resort sort of move. If talking isn’t helping you could try and use actions. But make sure you talk to a friend and tell them what your real intention is so things don’t blow up later. Even though we suggest this as the last resort, it works for some people. Your partner may realize how you feel only when they feel the same. A little game of tit for tat!
Being in love is a beautiful feeling but requires a lot of effort from both sides. Even though your partner’s flirtatious attitude may seem like the end of your relationship, if you are confident about your love and willing to make an effort, you can help your partner understand your feelings. But always make sure that you are not overreacting.
Lastly, stop overthinking. Overthinking ruins everything and only makes situations worse. So what if you are in love with a flirt, it’s their flirting that made you fall in love in the first place, right? If your relationship is strong, your love is true and it’s meant to be… it will be! Your partner will soon realize that the fun of flirting is nothing compared to the true happiness of love!
Is anybody in this boat? Do share your experiences about being in love with a flirt and how you dealt with it.