Just bring up the ‘M’ word and it makes even the toughest guys feel uneasy. Most women have a tough time figuring out why are men afraid of being married to them. Well, we’ve done some asking around and realised that there are a string of silly yet logical thought processes that lead to conclusions that seem to cause that innate fear…Yup.
So in case you are wondering why are men afraid of marriage..
..and want to get to the bottom of it, here are their 12 leading arguments explaining it; right from the horse’s mouth.
1. Loss Of Independence
Yes, that is the leading reason why are men afraid of marriage, cited by men who are afraid of marriage. Being married means tagging along with a lady who will influence a lot of decisions of his life. He worries he will have to take her opinion about everything right from the colour of the curtains to the ice cream flavour to be ordered for the family. Most men do understand that checking stuff with the missus is good courtesy, and equally logical. But some men don’t seem to like that while some adjust after marriage; and if they’re pushed into it, with this mindset, you’d only end up with sad love stories from grumpy guys.
2. Lack Of Confidence
Marriage brings responsibilities, and even if a man is interested in marrying, he may not feel certain about how he would deal with them. This lack of confidence causes most men to grow terrified by thoughts of commitment since they feel that they will not be in control any more of the path their lives would take. This makes the transition from boyfriend to husband hard. The question is ‘why if I’m not enough?’, and that leads to an even worse ‘what if..’, and before you know it, all these what ifs result in a feeling of loss of control over everything, and is why are men afraid of marriage .
3. Sharing Everything
This is another argument cited as to why are men afraid of marriage. Once he marries, his vocabulary will change; ‘my pay-check’ becomes ‘our income.’ ‘My house’ becomes ‘our house.’ And the possible connotations of that cause resentment one way or another. Of course, women hand in pay-checks too, and may be co-owners of a house, but when most guys are looking into the future, they think out their lives like they saw their parents live. And obviously, most guys do not love sharing their dearest personal possessions, which they invariably have to do once they marry. The thought of splitting their prized possessions with a woman is enough to scare a grown-up man to the bone.
4. Why Are Men Afraid Of Marriage? The Additional Responsibilities
It is a point that broadly covers everything from children to household chores, things a boyfriend doesn’t have to worry about. Marriage is going to bring the additional burden of this work which causes the man to have less time which he would otherwise spend doing the things he loves doing. Being married has its own perks though, but the thought of losing oneself in the plethora of marital responsibilities is what scares many men. Heck, it’s the one reason why are men afraid of marriage and commitment as well as why women are too.
5. Probable Strain On Finances
Financially, why are men afraid of marriage has a bunch of reasons, from the cost of the actual event, to every assumed slight. In modern era, this is less likely to occur since both men and women earn equally. But in some cases, this archaic mindset persists with some men who are concerned about increased expenses due to an additional person joining the household. Again, something that a boyfriend wont have to deal with. Also, most men have concerns about taking instructions and advice from another person about the way they should spend their money. It adds to the ‘what if I’m not enough’ mindset. Overall, this causes them to develop a certain unease about marriage.
6. Less Time For BFFs
Another factor why are men afraid of marriage. Getting married means having less time for those weekend getaways with his best friends. The thought of forgoing meeting one’s best friends regularly, and not being able to do the stuff he used to do with them, the assumption of a woflpack dreams lost, no quality time take care of the bonds with his male friends, makes most men quiver, leading them to shun the idea of wedding.
7. Having A Lacklustre Sex Life
Why are men afraid of marriage? Well, it is quite likely you would have read or heard numerous married men complain about their boring sex lives, in movies, on TV, in subliminal messages in various places. Many older men, married for years, are often seen doling out advice to young single guys twnety years their juniors, about having fun as long as they single, because “once you get married…”. The sentence is never completed, but once married, the sex life gets dull, is the assumption from father figure types. This does not necessarily mean that married people have a dull sex life. It depends on the couple. And men are not fickle-minded by default, generally, nor do they want to keep having sex forever and ever with everyone. it is just that they like to have their ‘options’ open all the time, as part of the control factor. Marriage brings an end to the freedom and possibility of looking elsewhere. While it is not a thought that will make them totally fear marriage, it is something that will dim their interest in wedlock.
8. End Of Romance
Guys like romance too. As a boyfriend they love taking their girlfriends out, spending some quality time on weekends, and all the ‘chemistry’ of that and the attention their girlfriends give them. With marriage, that ‘girlfriend’ becomes a ‘wife,’ and there is a high probability that she will no longer be that ‘girl’ that he once dated since her priorities may change. He’s seen his mom, so he expects she’ll become like that, serious and motherly. Motherhood is going to bring a serious changes in her, and his thought process follows that she may transform into that generic cranky wife, which no man desires. Phobias are not rational, but that’s why are men afraid of marriage, and the fear and hype just gets worse.
9. Poor Perception Of Wives
Perception is a key factor on why are men afraid of marriage. There is a high probability that you would come across at least one crass joke targeting the ‘nagging’ wives every few hours. The growing advent of social media has led to a cultivation of a distorted image of marriage stemming from the point that wives can be annoying. No human is perfect and no marriage is perfect. Marriage may have its lows, but it also has its high points, which no amount of independence can help you achieve. But most men tend to focus on the negative aspects of it, and develop an inaccurate image of having a lady as a life partner. Eventually, the man loses interest in marriage, and as time passes, he becomes afraid of it.
10. Expensive Divorce
No man wishes for a failing marriage, and therefore no man or woman plans for it, in the beginning. But he’ll still calculate the risks. Although modern married couples don’t worry about a divorce (let alone think of it), it is still something that scares some kinds of men in some age groups. Divorce is an expensive settlement for them, and added to a lack of knowledge of why alimony and compensation is given, many men who already have a pessimistic opinion about marriage tend to be afraid about this. This leads them to steer away from marriage completely.
11. Why Are Men Afraid Of Marriage? The Change In Life
Marriage brings a change, a husband is a big stepup from a boyfriend. This means transforming from your original self into something new. While it is okay for some, some men fear losing their old habits, viewing these as their original self. No man likes to be told he’s not enough, so his ‘phobia’ takes him down a dark mindset. He’s worried he’ll change into a dull espoused man with zero excitement in life with the burden of wife and children, sometimes, like his dad. Most married men and women would agree that this is not true but many men still have a mirage nightmare image of marriage. The fear of change triggered by matrimony causes them to shudder leading them to develop an inferior opinion about marriage.
12. The Uncertain Future
When single, most men have a pristine mirage-vision of their future as to where their life is going and what they seek from it. It’s a somewhat grand single lifestyle idealization. It’s only a dream, but a lovely enticing one, that captivates them and takes hold. After making a commitment, the answer to all questions becomes serious, and they see the idealization as obscure as the dream was, and that is not a nice thought. Most men tend to feel that they are losing control over their lives, when they think of that, and feel they’re headed towards an unsatisfactory future, eventually making them chicken out.