Unlike with men, female orgasms are purely for pleasure. For another, we take way longer to get off, and women tend to need a lot of TLC to get there, every time. Lastly, the final ‘nail’ on the coffin – we get distracted real quickly; the doorbell rings, or hAlso Read SEX QUOTES TO GIVE DIRTY THOUGHTSe makes weird eye movements, or the alarm goes off, and poof, you have to start all over again.
And men, with their quick-draw pistols, don’t take the effort to help out, which is why most women don’t like sex as much, because she knows he’ll be done in a jiff, leaving her irritated while he slumps off to sleep very happily sated.
But no more of that! If you want her to like it and enjoy sex as much as you do, here’s how to make that happen:
1. The She-boner
Scientifically speaking, the ideal kind of sex for women is quite similar to the kind of sex guys like, only it takes longer. The same stuff happens with both sexes, blood pools into all your sensitive regions, you secrete lubricating fluids, tension builds in muscles, narrowing happens, artificial movements with muscle contraction give way for automated muscular clenching and unclenching, blood, oxygen and pressure do their thing, and then comes the release.
It’s kind of a sad thing that most men don’t even know that when a woman is sufficiently turned on, the entrance of her vajayjay actually grips his joystick.
The female vagina has a lot of muscles, and with that comes a sphincter-like entry, which depending on the kind of equipment she’s got, comes in nine variations. So her ‘grip’ section can be anything between a few millimetres to an inch. If you don’t feel that grip, she’s not sufficiently turned on enough to ‘come’. That vaginal gripping is the female equivalent of a boner.
How do you do it? If you don’t feel her getting a ‘grip’, stop the humping and focus on getting her to grip. You could ask her to clench her muscles, and then continue, but that works only for a minute, kind of like trying to start an engine. You’d push till it starts. Or you find out what it takes to get her there, together. TLC takes a lot of time; more than fifteen minutes in some cases.
2. Frustration Factor
Just like how men get a lot of physical and mental issues when they don’t get a release, women do too. Both sexes again have this problem for the same reasons, muscle tension build-up and pressure build-up. Guys have the additional ‘blue balls’ syndrome, but women have it worse with the muscle tension. With women, the muscles responsible for orgasming include all the muscles down there – vaginal, vagino-urinal, urinal, anal, vangino-anal muscles and a few other muscles that are involved with her tush, her back and her upper thighs. This is why her orgasm will feel so much more powerful and a bit longer than his. With the rare few, muscles from many other parts of her torso are involved. And all these muscles suffer from the build-up; blue body syndrome anyone?
How can you fix it? You have to make sure she releases. Check point 1.
3. The ‘Unsexable’ Guy
With women, getting turned on is an issue too. And most women know it takes time, but they’re not open to talk about it. Most women think there’s something wrong with them if they take too long to get turned on. That’s not true. Women are designed that way because they release oxytocin right from the time they start to get turned on. That’s a mechanism to make sure she’s sufficiently attached to a guy, to have his babies. While now she may not need to have his babies, she still can’t override female genetics. Which is why if a guy doesn’t sufficiently turn her on, she loses interest in having sex with that specific guy; he has been deemed an invalid option in her mind for ‘babies’.
That’s why it takes time. She can’t do anything about her natural bodily responses and wants. After all isn’t that what sex is really all about?
How can you change that?
Let her take her time. Help her out. Don’t get frustrated. It’s not female erectile dysfunction, it’s a body’s normal functioning.
4. The Raw Truth
Every woman has different turn-ons. Every woman finds it a thousand times easier to get turned on by a hot guy, like how a guy likes hot booty. Guys who talk while having sex are a turn-off, forget the ones who demand that she talk. The ones who like to sext, but don’t do what they say they’ll do seem like they’ve got ‘John’ problems. The ‘Flash’ guys are probably this close to impotent. ‘Thor’ needs to stop fighting in bed. ‘Spidey’ needs to stop swinging around. And ‘Tony Stark’ needs to stop reading stuff off weird books.
How can you fix it? Take the trouble to look good. Look sexy. Go to a gym. Men are hunters, ferocious fighters. That’s why they can build stronger muscles a lot faster. So look like one. Look in the mirror and decide if you look like a magnificent sexy beast, or not. If you don’t, then make a plan to look like one. It’s not just for her, it’s for you and your self-esteem too.
5. Her Thing
Some like touch, some like tease and some like guys who don’t stare weirdly. Some have fetishes. Some want to have sex in heels. Some want to do it on the floor. Some like it dirty. Some like it neat. Some get physically annoyed when guys do dumb stuff in bed, or stop doing something they like midway, and leave them hanging.
How can you fix it? Find out what she likes. Have a drunk hot-seat session with just the two of you, and ask each other about all the dirty details about what you two like about sex with each other, and what you both don’t like. And then do stuff.
6. The Last Straw
Guys don’t know a lot of stuff about women and their bodies. And while it’s okay if you don’t know about her fetishes and likes, you need to know, or at least figure out the basics. Imagine how you’d feel if she didn’t get you to get off every single time. You’d lose interest.
When a guy doesn’t know how to get a girl off, which is the most basic thing, she stops liking sex with him. And then just like how a guy will say anything to not end up banging that girl he has no interest in, a girl will say just about anything to avoid banging the guy who doesn’t know the first thing about sex with women. Which is why she’ll start an argument, make a scene, pick a fight, make excuses, and say she’s not in the mood.
And who can blame her? I mean, you wouldn’t keep eating raw pizza or spoilt food, would you? You wouldn’t walk into a loo and not do your business. You wouldn’t go McDonald’s and not eat anything. And you certainly wouldn’t tolerate an ice cream parlour that makes you pay but doesn’t give you ice cream.
How can you fix it?
Get to know the basics of the female anatomy, and all the parts that are involved in sex. Do you want to be a prude or a guy whose partner is really happy about sexing him up?
7. Let Her Fix It
Well you can’t do this one always, but it’s a good start. And it’s pretty simple. You reverse positions and roles. So she’s on top, and you can’t come until she does. Let her do whatever she wants to get it up. And make sure you both get to the ‘grip’ state.
This one’s especially helpful when she doesn’t know what she needs to get her release. You might have to help her with weight issues at first, but the more she has to manage her own weight, the more her muscles are going to tense up, and speed up her gripping.
A word of caution – If she doesn’t manage to come this way, she’s going to permanently lose interest over time. And, the woman-on-top position is the position responsible for most penile fractures.