For those of us not so lucky as to be in a relationship, getting some action can be a bit tricky. And let’s face it, sometimes the best of us need to just, well, get out there and get laid. Get some action. Let off a little steam. Get lucky. Break that dry spell. You get the drift.
The point is that again, unless you’re willing to invest a lot of your time into chasing and maintaining a relationship, your (legal) options are slim. Fortunately, there is always that sometimes maligned, often useful option of getting yourself out there and getting some action.
Of course, you’re not likely to get lasting emotional fulfilment from such an arrangement, but what you’re likely to get is a boosted immune system, lower blood pressure, a solid workout, stress relief and overall better sleep and health. Oh, and a confidence boost too. Sound good? Here’s what you need to be doing on your night out:
1. Dress To Impress
Seriously, these aren’t people who’ve seen you over a period of time that are attracted to your overall personality. You’re targeting people who have never seen you before and if you show up in your bedclothes, you can guarantee they’re not going to be looking at you very long.
Being approachable is a very important part of initiating conversation and possibly more, because if you’re wearing a frown and crossing your arms, you’re keeping everyone from ever coming over to you.
3. Don’t Look Desperate
Or act desperate, even if you’re there for the sole purpose of getting laid. Unless you’re really, ridiculously good looking, you’re going to scare off the other person if they come within 5 feet of you and immediately realize what your intentions are. Play it cool, yeah.
4. Be Confident
A confident person is different from a desperate person and a cocky person, both of whom are likely to be sitting there for very long wondering why no one will approach them. Here’s a helpful hint: Confidence is how you carry yourself, what you do with your body and hands, eyes and smile, cockiness is spouting too much from your mouth.
5. Patience Is (Unfortunately) Key
Even if you’re looking dapper and fresh as anything, and your body language is on point, you’re not likely to be in and out in 30 minutes, especially if your game is a little rusty. Instead, look to get comfortable and don’t lose your cool if things don’t immediately go your way. Take your time to study the options and make your moves accordingly.
6. Set Sensible Standards
You’re not walking out with the best looking person in the bar, party or wherever else you are, for reasons that include their self esteem, their relationship status, their intentions, your game, your looks, what time of day it is and about a million other things. Be sensible and have your pick from those willing to play the game.
7. Talk, Talk, Talk
And not just to that one person who leaves you hanging at the end of the night by making off with the bartender. Talk to and give your number to a number of people, you never know who it’s going to work out with and who will be a great option for the next time.
8. Use Your Head
So you’re talking to someone really cute and they seem to be indulging you, but make sure to know that signs like them looking away when you’re talking, giving half-hearted answers and taking time to reply to your questions means that they’re just not that into you. Move on.
9. Escalate When Appropriate
Meaning that if you think you’ve snagged someone that might be someone with a similar bent of mind as to how the night ends, initiate “operation ensnarement.” Nothing slimy here, just initiate physical contact by touching their hand, and generally get closer to them. If they’re comfortable with the thoughts you’re harbouring, and looking to indulge, they will not resist or look to move away.
10. Don’t Blow People Off
If you get approached by someone who isn’t quite your type, don’t look to immediately blow them off. Instead, indulge them by listening to what they have to say, and be open to different people and experiences. This will show some of the shy people that you’re willing to be approached by one and all, and this will open up many doors for you.
11. Jealousy Works
Especially coupled with a drink or two. We jest, but it would be a good idea to leave the side of someone you’re currently talking to to approach someone else who is giving you the eyes. This keeps the person you’re currently talking to on their toes and lets them know that you’re quite the catch and that they shouldn’t miss out.
12. Charm Them
Being charming is an automatic bonus when it comes to picking people up – the simple action of saying the right thing at the right time can have wondrous effects on your chances of leaving with someone by your arm that night. One of the simplest ways of being charming is to pay attention to what the other person is saying; this way you can pick up on what is important to them and what is hard for them to say, and then compliment or make a comment on that.
13. Go Easy On The Compliments
Speaking of compliments, you don’t want to be handing too many of them out. Of course a compliment here and there makes everyone feel a lot nicer about themselves and about being around you, but too many compliments too fast is a sure fire way of being shot down. The best compliments are slightly ambiguous and subtle in nature.
14. Look Like You’re Having Fun
If you’re out on the town and everyone around you can see how you’re having the time of your life, they’ll sure want to be around you – especially if you’re giving out the signs that we’ve discussed above. People gravitate toward people who are confident in themselves are are having fun – that’s the image you want to project.
15. Have Fun!
If you step out with the sole reason of getting laid, you’re putting way too much pressure on yourself! Sure, make some efforts to get with someone, but if it isn’t going to plan, worry not and just enjoy yourself. Seeing someone really having a good time and throwing back a throaty laugh or two is really attractive in itself, so you might just end up making things easier for yourself!