I spent 40 days at church daily offering prayers, just like Jesus spent exactly 40 days on Earth before Ressurection

Today, as I sit here to write, my heart feels so full of memories yet so heavy with a strange, quiet sorrow I cannot quite explain. These past 40 days have been the most precious, grace-filled days of my life, and from the very first day I began them, I held close to my heart the beautiful truth: Jesus spent exactly 40 days walking, talking, and being with His disciples here on Earth after His Resurrection—teaching them, comforting them, preparing them, before He ascended to Heaven. I wanted my own 40 days to be a small, humble reflection of that time, a way to stay close to Him, just as His disciples did. And oh, how happy I was, every single day, living this out.

For 40 days without fail, I went to church daily. No matter how busy or tired I was, nothing could keep me away. Being in the house of God felt like being wrapped in His love, surrounded by His presence, and every moment there was a gift I treasured deeply. At home, I never stopped praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet, and every single time I prayed it, I offered it for sinners—for their conversion, for their hearts to turn back to God, for them to know His mercy and love. I poured all my care and hope into those prayers, and whenever I had extra time, I would take my rosary and pray it too, weaving every Hail Mary and every Our Father into that same intention: that souls may be saved, that hearts may be healed, that everyone may come to know how much God loves them. It felt like my whole life, my whole heart, was focused on this one beautiful purpose, and I felt so close to God, so peaceful, so full of joy, every single day.

When the 40 days were coming to an end, something so special happened. It felt as if a gentle force, a quiet leading from the Holy Spirit, pulled my attention straight to an image of the Precious Blood of Jesus on my phone—it just popped up on my screen, out of nowhere, and I knew immediately it was not by chance. Without even a moment of hesitation, I downloaded it. Before that, too, I had seen two images of the Crucifixion online, and I had downloaded those as well, right away. I spent time carefully enhancing them, fixing every detail, working until they became clear, beautiful high-definition photos, as if I wanted to honor the image of my Lord as much as I possibly could. After I finished them, I sat there, holding them in my heart, wondering what I was meant to do with them. And then, a soft, clear voice spoke in my heart: Put them on your website. Give them to others. Print them on cloth, frame them, share them far and wide. I listened, of course. I framed one of the images and keep it in my home now, where I can see it every day and pray before it. The rest, I am keeping safe, waiting to give them to my church, or to anyone who would love and cherish them as much as I do.

Days passed, and then another mission was placed on my heart: the Brown Scapular. I felt so strongly that I was meant to share it, to give it to devoted souls, to spread it within the church and among everyone I meet. I even found the perfect wool material to make them—exactly the kind that meets all the requirements of the Church, just as it should be. It is such a beautiful, holy devotion, and I want so much to make as many as I can, to share this gift of grace with others. It is only a matter of time, of finding the moments to create them, but my heart is already set on doing it, on helping more people wear this sign of love and protection from Our Lady.

Yesterday, the 40 days finally came to an end. I felt such joy and gratitude, so happy and honored to have been part of this spiritual journey, to have walked these days close to God, to have prayed and served and loved as much as I could. I thought that feeling of peace and happiness would stay with me forever.

But today… today everything feels different. I woke up with an intense, heavy sorrow inside me, a kind of blankness that makes it impossible to even smile. I try to find a reason for it, and I think of everything, and my mind keeps going back to my friend—someone I was so close to, someone I walked with in faith, someone I trusted deeply. She betrayed me, hurt me in ways I never expected from someone I loved so much. But I did what I knew I must do: I forgave her. I truly, sincerely forgave her, and I even went to the confession room to confess this matter to God, to lay down all my hurt and anger, to make sure my heart was clean and free from resentment.

Yet now, these questions keep turning over and over in my heart, and I do not know the answers: Has she forgiven me, too? Did I do something wrong, something I do not see, that she still holds against me? And will she ever change? Will she let go of the bad attitudes and ways that have hurt me, and hurt others, so many times? Will she ever return to the goodness and love I know she is capable of?

I do not know. I do not understand why this sorrow weighs so heavily on me today, why even after all the grace and joy of these 40 days, my heart feels so aching and confused. I know God is with me. I know He holds me, just as He held His disciples after His Resurrection, even when they did not understand everything that was happening. I know I must keep trusting, keep praying, keep loving, even when my heart hurts. I will keep offering my prayers, keep sharing the images and the scapulars, keep walking this path that He has laid out for me. But tonight, I just write this down, and I bring all my questions, all my sadness, all my love, to Him—because He knows every beat of my heart, and He holds every answer in His hands.

RESEARCH REPORT:

According to Christian tradition and the biblical account in the Acts of the Apostles, Jesus spent exactly 40 days on Earth with his disciples after his Resurrection. During this time, he taught them, ate with them, and prepared them for their mission before bodily ascending into heaven.

During these 40 days before he left, Jesus focused on several key actions:

• Teaching and Preparation: He continued to teach the disciples about the Kingdom of God and opened their minds to understand the Scriptures.

• Confirming his Resurrection: He appeared to his followers on multiple occasions—including the disciples on the road to Emmaus and the apostles in the upper room—to offer undeniable proof that he was alive.

• The Great Commission: He commanded his followers to "Go into all the world and proclaim the Gospel to the whole creation".

• Promising the Holy Spirit: Before ascending into heaven, Jesus told them to wait in Jerusalem until they received the power of the Holy Spirit.

  One Life Church·One Life Church

This 10-day period of waiting and expectant prayer directly culminated on Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit descended upon the apostles

Until Next Time,

Yuna