Eager learners as we are, we were not to be deterred, instead turning to other sources in our quest for sexual know-how. And while Cosmo and online video tutorials are useful, they don’t come close to giving us the full picture when it comes to sex, in fact, they propel some incorrect information and pass it off as facts.
We’re here to set the record straight. Here are 11 sex myths you’ve been hearing as true, but are indeed far from it.
11. Great Sex Happens Naturally
We’re often told by popular culture that there are people out there having great sex every day of their lives, and the reason they’re doing so is because they won the genetic, and it seems, sexual, lottery. This is in fact not true. While some couples do have great natural chemistry, that chemistry isn’t enough to last them past 3-6 months, which is when being a generous lover, practice, communication and patience comes into effect.
10. Women Don’t Watch Or Enjoy Porn
Incorrect, they do both. However, given much of the market is geared towards male audiences, with sexual enactments and acts focused solely on male pleasure, the number of male viewers is higher. There has been a shift of late with more porn geared towards women viewers, and you better bet there are plenty of women watching that.
9. Women Don’t Like Sex As Much As Men
Women are not as open about their sexual desires, but that has a lot more to do with societal pressures and expectations than with anything else. Women have bodies, women have sexual desires and women enjoy sex as much as men. However, both men and women can approach sex in slightly different ways, with a women more aroused by intimacy and closeness, and men by the physical act itself. Of course, for many men and women the reverse may be true as well.
8. Men Are Afraid To Commit, Women Want Commitment Only
Talk about painting two groups of people that each make up roughly half of the world’s population in two distinct colors. Here are the facts: some men really want to commit, some women want to relieve some steam. Neither option, whether coming from a man or a woman is necessarily wrong, as long as there is clear communication.
7. Most Women Are Bisexual
If you are a straight male reading this, know that straight women feel the same level of attraction for their counterparts as you do for straight men, ie, not very much at all. We’re putting this silly myth down to porn.
6. Men Think About Sex All The Time
Some men do. A few women do as well, we’re sure. Most men however, are perfectly capable of focusing on other things, the kinds of stuff that (along with invaluable input from their female counterparts) sends people to the moon. Or makes great movies (not on sex). Or authors classic texts. You get the drift.
5. Orgasm Is The Entire Point Of Sex
This one can be attributed to popular culture and the linear thinking of youth. It isn’t as offensive as it is misinformed, purely because the people who feel this way are denying themselves a whole, and wholesome sex life. Sure, a good orgasm isn’t a goal to shy away from every now and then, but don’t think sex is as mechanical, cold and goal oriented as in porn. Sights, smells, touch, intimacy and the actual deed itself feels way too good to be discounted entirely without orgasm.
4. Pain Is Not A Factor During Sex
Okay, so we made that up. No-one says that. But the reason we’ve put it in our list, and fairly high up at that, is that it’s an issue that needs way more light. The number of women of all ages who have reported their most recent sexual experience as painful is nothing to scoff at. Extended foreplay, taking it slow, communication and lubrication are your friends in this matter.
3. You Can’t Get Pregnant First Time/Xyz Day Of The Month
We are as good at predicting women’s menstruation cycles as we are at predicting the weather, which is to say we don’t have a clue. And you can get pregnant very easily the first time, just as you can the tenth time or the nineteenth time. Use protection if you’re not ready for a baby.
2. You Don’t Always Have To Use A Condom
The last point brings us nicely to the issue of contraception. There has been some exposure in the media recently of the importance of condoms, so we’ll sum it up. Unless the female half of a couple (a couple that has been tested) is on birth control – prescribed medication that she has been taking over a period of time under a doctor’s supervision – you need a condom to avoid getting pregnant, avoid STDs and avoid making a mess. As far as we’re concerned, those are 3 excellent reasons for most people to always use a condom.
1. Size Matters
Let’s not get into this too much and simply state: If you’re an average or slightly above/below average in penis size, you’re fine. Really. Keep yourself in shape and clean, practice, and communicate with your partner. Remember, closeness and intimacy count for a lot when it comes sex, especially for women. A confident man is a better lover. Period.