So if you’re looking to improve upon your sex life, your performance, and the intimacy and mood in the bedroom, read on:
1. Expecting Sex To Happen
This is a big one. It’s almost as if couples who are in a relationship or married expect the other person to initiate always. Just because you’ve been with them for a while (or not) doesn’t make them a mind reader. Besides, everyone wants to feel wanted, so go ahead and make that first move!
2. Pursuing Them Only At Home
This is another big nono. Sure, you’re both busy doing other stuff the entire day, but coming back home, getting into bed and then making sexy talk isn’t the perfect way to woo your partner. Take just a bit of time to send them a raunchy or suggestive text during the day. A simple “I want you so much right now” does wonders for the bedroom.
3. Confining Yourselves To The Bedroom
There’s so much more to sex than what can take place just in the bedroom – the comfortable sofa chairs you picked up last summer, the kitchen counter, the rather large table in the middle of your drawing room. Things can get hot and heavy outside of the bedroom too.
4. Letting Yourself Go Too Much
No one expects the relationship, or you, to be the same a few months or years later, but that doesn’t mean that you can afford to not take care of yourself. Things like physique, hygiene, dress sense and similar details play a major part in attraction and ultimately, sex. So think before you pick up that third piece of toast, and cut your nails!
5. Not Familiarizing Yourself With Your Partner’s Anatomy
So, you the guy learned where the clitoris is and what positions best stimulate it, and as the female half of the relationship you now know what positions he likes best. But just like a degree in computer science, your knowledge is only relevant if you keep it uptodate. Relevant here means knowing how your partner’s body behaves, and what they like in bed. Every man and woman is different, and once the initial infatuation and thrill of sex wears off, it would be a good idea to get to know what they like and just how they like it. We’ll just say this – the penis and vagina aren’t the only erogenous zones in the body.
6. Not Playing Out Any Fantasies
Relationships are based on many things, and one of them is trust. Trusting your partner enough with your fantasies is a fairly big deal, but they do have to to ask or be interested in knowing! So make sure to play out some of the naughtier stuff and see just how close it brings the two of you together, and how much more intimate your sex life is.
7. Not Slowing Down
Quick and dirty is a pretty good formula to adhere to, but remember that slow and lazy is a most excellent option for those laidback weekends in bed. Enjoy the moments you spend intertwined with your lover’s body and take your time. It will be a highly rewarding feeling.
8. Not Taking The Lead
Not just initiating sex, but also following his or her lead in bed is a most exciting feeling to have the pleasure to experience. Show your partner you’re going to have them just the way you like it, and that you have carefully laid out plans of how this session is going to pan out – it’ll be most pleasurable for the both of you.
9. Not Going South
This applies equally to both genders, as both have their own reservations about why going to town downstairs may or may not be a good idea. Here a fact – when done right, it can be a most pleasurable feeling for both parties. For a guy, sexual satisfaction without any pressure of performance, and for the girl, a chance to orgasm where penetration may not be enough. There is no satisfactory answer to the contrary.
10. Staying Quiet
No. Please. Sex is an act most intimate and much of the intimacy is derived from knowing how your partner is reacting to you. Staying completely quiet in bed can kill the mood real fast as the partner doesn’t know whether you’re enjoying yourself at all, or if you even want to be there at all.
11. Not Keeping It Fresh
So you have a routine, and it’s worked for you thus far, That’s great, but variety is the spice of life and routine is the death of good sex. Try some things, experiment, and generally be inventive. You might discover something that works 10x better, but don’t stop there too.
12. Not Communicating
Picture the guy doing his thing while she squirms in pain, or the girl preferring the room to be lightly lit so that she doesn’t fumble around in the dark, but he doesn’t have any idea. Don’t be like that. Talk about what gets you off and how you like it, but don’t criticize. Treat sex like a government exam, don’t talk about what isn’t right, talk about what to do to make things even better.
13. Being Distracted During Sex
Sex is important, and the trivialities about the neighbours, your boss, the dog or even the kids aren’t good enough to vandalize this sacred space. The only chit chat that should be taking place is of the dirty kind, if you’re so inclined.